Comparing yourself to others is the quickest way to feel shit about yourself and still we tend to keep doing this. Do you spend way too much time scrolling through Instagram, feeling intimidated by the endless amount of fitgirls and Instamodels appearing on your screen? Are you obsessing about people who are more successful than you? Are you constantly comparing yourself to other women around you? Well, you are definitely not the only. We easily fall into this trap of comparison.
With the introducing of social media it is easier than ever to think everyone has a perfect life, a perfect relationship, a perfect body and is always happy and feeling blessed. It is also very easy to forget most of this is photoshop, a lot of filters and a scene staged for a photo. You are looking at an image that doesn’t necessary reflect what is going on the inside. You are comparing yourself to a stranger while you have no clue what is really going on in their life.
In this blog I give you a guide to let go of comparison in real life and on social media. These are my five practical steps that you can apply when you feel like you are falling into the comparison trap again.
Detox your timeline
You have a choice who you follow on Instagram or on any social media channel. Yes, duuuuuh. You can think of that yourself too, right? However, for some reason we don’t. It’s so simple but still we keep following people that drain our energy instead of give us energy. You made the choice to follow these people and you can also make the choice to unfollow people. It is all about becoming mindful of this instead of mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and falling into an endless comparison trap without even realising this. Social media can become an addiction, this is how the apps are designed. So whenever you feel like you have nothing to do or you are staring at a blank screen, without even knowing it you get sucked into scrolling through social media. This is how we end up spending way too much time in comparison mode.
Go through your list and ask yourself where you gain energy and what makes you feel insecure. Unfollow all the accounts that make you feel insecure and bad about yourself. If you don’t do this and you have a list full of fitgirls that you follow, it seems like ‘everyone’ is perfect and fit, except you! You get a very distorted idea of the reality! One click and they no longer appear on your timeline. Life can sometimes be that simple. We think that if we stare at ‘perfect’ people long enough, it will helps us in some way to be become more like them. What it really does is make you feel more miserable and it only inspires you to eat that next chocolate bar out of feeling bad about yourself. start following people who give you inspiration. People who have a message, who are authentic and positive. Make sure your timeline is 100% positive and your time spend on social media might even make you feel better about yourself instead of worse.
You are good enough too
When we see someone who is (in our eyes) more beautiful or more successful, we see that as evidence that we are not beautiful or successful enough. This is often how our mind works. If someone else has something that we really desire we feel like this means that it isn’t available for us anymore. This comes from a lack mentality that there isn’t enough for everyone which is why we feel like we are comparing and in competition all the time.
Train your mind to come from a place of abundance. If you see someone that has something that you desire, tell yourself that this is proof that it is also available to you. If you see someone who is beautiful tell yourself ‘she is beautiful and so am I’. Instead of feeling jealous you can start to feel inspired by all the beauty and opportunities around you.
What’s on the outside says nothing about the inside
Often we become obsessed with looking at people who we desire to be, thinking that if we have what they have, we will finally be happy. Maybe this person has success or has the life or the body you dream of. Remember that these extrinsic values say nothing about their internal world. In my experience, people that present themselves to the world as perfect are usual the people that are empty on the inside and are trying to make up for that by getting validation from the outside world. It is usually very inauthentic because perfection doesn’t even exist. Realise that some of the girls that seem to have it all can be depressed https://cumbrestoltec.com/meds/buy-diazepam/, have an extremely low self-esteem or suffer from an eating disorder. We think that only because someone is beautiful, fit or successful that that person must be happy. This doesn’t have to be true at all. Beauty, fame, travel, a relationship, a good looking body and a lot of followers are no guarantee for happiness. Everyone has their struggles and everyone goes through suffering. Also those people you look up to! That is what makes us human. Remind yourself of that whenever you are wishing you had the life of someone else.
We are all one
Everyone is equal, this is an universal law. We are all born as equals, perfectly, whole and connected to the world. When we grow up, the ego takes over and starts to form beliefs that others are better than you or that you are superior to other people. Every time you compare yourself with someone and you feel less, come back to this sentence.
We are all one
Repeat it to yourself. Feel it. Everyone is equal, everyone is human, everyone goes through the same things, everyone has to deal with the same emotions. Everyone has the same insecurities. Everyone is scared of rejection, abandonment and loss. Everyone wants the same thing which is being genuinely happy. Everyone does everything in their power to achieve that, we just have different ways of expressing that.
You’re so much more than your appearance
Remind yourself that comparing yourself with someone else is often only focussed on one aspect. You only look at someone’s appearance, someones success or someones relationship. But we’re so much more than that! Keep this in mind when you are comparing yourself to another woman. Women are brainwashed by society that our value equals the way we look and how attractive we are to men. When you think about this you realise how fundamentally wrong this is. Still, we often think this because this is how we are programmed. This it why it’s necessary to continually program yourself differently. Whenever you feel like you are comparing your looks to someone else, remind yourself that you are so much more than that.
Remind yourself that appearance, success or material does not determine your value. It is more important how you treat other people, how much compassion you have, how authentic you are and how well you can give and receive love. Maybe you have a really funny personality, or you are artistic, or maybe an adventurous or you are super smart. Maybe your quality is making others happy. See yourself as an whole person instead of just letting one aspect determine your entire worth.
Ps. If you want to stop comparing and start loving yourself more, sign up for my free mini mindfulness course and receive more valuable information in your inbox today.