How to avoid a burnout by making five changes in your life

Unfortunately, more and more people are experiencing a burnout or are close to getting one. Nowadays the new norm is to always be busy. It seems that good is not good enough anymore. You need to be a #girlboss, be a good friend, go to the gym every day, do that training, be at all parties, be a good mom, and look perfect at the same time. And preferably also be the best in everything you do. This behaviour is rewarded in this society and certainly by companies! It is rewarded when you go to the gym, are always at work and are there for everyone. Since we unconsciously always seek that outside validation and this seems to be a way to get this we just keep going ignoring our own wants and needs. Until your body and mind puts a stop this and you you are suddenly not capable of anything anymore. This is what we call a burn out and it is no fun for anyone. When you are in this even doing groceries can seem like an impossible task and it usually takes a lot of time to recover from this.

When you are at this point or you seem to be heading there you know something needs to change. This are the five main changes that you will have to practice daily in order to avoid ending up in a burn out or recover from this.

Awareness is everything

Awareness is the first step in changing anything. If you are not aware of something you are also not able to change it. When you are experiencing a burn out or you are heading towards this, this is a very clear indication that you are functioning fully on autopilot. You’re in your head and completely absorbed by your to-do lists and all your ‘have-to’s’. You’re so much on auto pilot that you don’t even notice the signals your body was giving you. Even when you do notice them you are giving priority to your endless to-do list and dismiss those signals as inconvenient or maybe even weak. However you body is infinitely wise and will eventually become fed up with you ignoring it. That’s the moment where we are forced to listen.

Becoming aware of your body and the signals with the intention to act accordingly is a first step. During the day, take a break and check in with yourself: how do I feel now? Become aware when you are too tired, hungry or need to drink or sleep more. Give those signals a priority and act on it in a kind and compassionate way. When you learn to listen to your body’s signals this is a very big step to taking care of yourself better.

Setting healthy boundaries

When you’re dealing with burnout complaints, you have consistently disrespected your own boundaries. It means that you were still giving while you actually had nothing left to give anymore. What you are actually saying is: performing and being good enough for others is more important than my own well being. Not great for your self worth either when you constantly communicate this to yourself and others! Setting healthy boundaries and respecting them has everything to do with self love! You show others how you want to be treated by how you treat yourself. If you treat yourself with love and respect others will do so too.

If you have a tendency to always please everyone around you at the cost of your own well-being it is important to learn how to say no. When you are a people pleaser you unconsciously communicate to yourself and the other person that you don’t really matter. Therefore this is how people respond to you and by constantly being treated like that you will confirm your belief that you are unworthy and start to please even more. You are the only person that can change this around by honoring your own truth.

Start practicing saying no from a place of love. Start with baby steps and continue from there. It might feel scary at first and you might face some resistance when everyone is used to you always saying yes. Keep in mind that this is normal and keep making yourself a priority.

Letting go of control

If you try to control your circumstances, do everything on your own and expect everything to go as you want it you will soon lose your sanity. It will end up in a lot of frustration and possibly a burnout. We have absolutely no control over a lot of things and certainly not about things outside of ourselves or other people. The stress of constantly trying to to this and resistance that you feel will build up. The best thing we can do is surrender to what is outside of us. You can only control how you respond to outer circumstances and people. That is where your power is. When you resist what is and try to force something you are constantly wasting your energy. It feels like you are swimming against the current. The moment you accept, surrender and only focus on how you respond it will save you an enormous amount of energy and frustration. You can actually train your brain to do this by practicing mindfulness meditation. Start with 10 minutes a day and notice how this will work miracles in your life.

Give up on perfection

If you ever want to find happiness you will have to let go of the idea of being perfect. Perfection does not exist! You can not do everything and be everywhere. You can not please everyone. You can not be the best at everything and you do not have to. You are chasing an illusion and wasting your time and energy. Being a perfectionist means that you have decided that whatever you do it will not be good enough anyway. It means that you will sacrifice anything to reach that picture perfect. However, it will never be good enough which also means that you will never decide that it’s enough and stop. 

Start with adopting different values. Instead of aiming for perfect, aim to just start working on something even for a little bit every day. Aim for taking good care of yourself everyday and making your well being a priority. Aim to just put yourself out there and decide that you are already good enough.

Balance your Yin and Yang

In the end there is nothing wrong with stress. When there is a bit of stress during your day and you can relax afterwards it definitely won’t kill you. It only becomes dangerous when you are under constant stress for a long period of time. When there is too much yang and no yin left. Life is all about balance. When the balance is disrupted over a long period of time this will always have consequences. Try to make sure that you take care of that balance every day. Make sure you have enough time for you on a daily base to relax! Try to read a nice book, go for a walk in the nature, go to a yoga lesson, take a warm bath, burn a nice smelling candle. Do something what fills you up again, what relax you and give you love. Do this every day. Try to do the biggest part during the weekends. Let the yin energy, the love, and relaxing time be a part of your life again. Give yourself permission to enjoy the things you like to do the most and makes you happy. Why else are we here on this earth? You are not here to prove your worth to others by overworking yourself. You already are so worthy! Just remind yourself of that truth every single day!